Handicapping the Idol hopefuls
By Gordon R. Webb Gazette Columnist Thursday April 05, 2012
idol 8America voted last week and the Karaoke Kid (Heejun Han) was finally sent packing – kicked out of the luxurious Idol “hopefuls” mansion after only a few fantasy filled days. look, I liked Heejun. He was wickedly funny, entertaining and made every show worth watching, but his departure was long overdue. it doesn’t matter if he’s got a smooth delivery or gives J-Lo “goosies” (her word, not mine); you can’t hit that many clams (wrong notes) and be taken seriously as a singer. After all, as ex-judge Simon Cowell used to say, “This is a singing competition.”
So, now only eight contestants remain on American Idol Season eleven. and I’d have to say that Little Diva, Luther-lite, Skunk-boy, Reebs, Zepper, Pale Ale, Color-Me-Badd and Dave, easily make up one of the best final eight groupings in Idol history. here are my predictions (in order) on how the rest of the voting will go.
I’m not sure how many of you remember the 1980′s boy band Color me Badd, but local boy (San Jose) DeAndre Brackensick and his Kenny G. curls would have fit in perfectly (looks and vocals). Although his falsetto is truly amazing, it begins to wear out its welcome after about 20 seconds and he’s just too inconsistent to last. He should be the next one to go. Expect buckets of tears (from DeAndre).
7) Hollie “Pale Ale” Cavanaugh is the ultimate pint sized powerhouse. The pale blue eyed Aussie wonder started out strong, but seems to be weakening and looks like she’s in desperate need of a little sunshine and some home cooking. Lil’ Hollie will follow DeAndre out the door.
6) I’m crazy about Elise “Zepper” Testone. She’s a genuinely talented performer who should have a successful music career, regardless of the results. her screaming, bone rattling version of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” absolutely blew me away. Elise rocks, but that will wind up hurting her in the end. This is America and, unfortunately, most Americans don’t rock anymore.
5) Phillip “Dave” Phillips has grown on me. I like his style, or lack of it, the wrinkled clothes, un-kept hair, Joe Cocker facial scrunches and, of course, the maniacal one-legged-guitar-strumming-high-wire-act. He’s just so … so anti-Idol. and for all we know, he doesn’t bathe, either. but I’m starting to tire of his jam band jive and I think America will, too. If Phillip’s solo artist gig doesn’t pan out, he’d still make the most awesomeness front man for a Dave Matthews tribute band.
4) Skylar “Reebs” Laine – aka Reba on steroids – sounds a little like country legend Reba McIntire, only with a hell of a lot more boot in her booty. As the only pure country fried contestant remaining, she’s the real wild card here, because as we all know, there are pickup truck loads of country fans out there. The energetic Skylar could surprise us and win the whole thing. Remember, no one thought Scotty “Jimmy Dean” McCreery had a prayer last year and look what happened!
3) Colton “Skunk-boy” Dixon should make the final three. I hate the punk-geek hairdo with the white skunk stripe in front, but the kid’s got talent. He’s not the greatest singer, but he’s a bonafide recording artist in the making. Skunky’s got style, swag, writes songs, plays the keys and busted Billy Joel’s chops with his “Piano Man” rendition. A hit record is only a matter of time.
2) Joshua “Luther-lite” Ledet has Luther Vandross like power and gospel roots, only without Luther’s velvety smoothness. He’s very impressive – staggering vocal chops, stage presence and could knock the snot out of an Al Green tune. A legitimate threat to win the Idol crown, but I don’t know … Joshua seems to struggle at times.
1) that means my pick to win it all is Jessica “Little Diva” Sanchez – a just turned sixteen-year-old phenom that already performs like a seasoned professional. she has multi-platinum potential and can tackle Whitney, Mariah and Celine tunes with relative ease. and never underestimate the power of the Filipino (I’m married to one) vote. Remember when fellow Filipino Jasmine Trias finished third in season three? she couldn’t sing a lick! Jessica Sanchez’s frenzied fans will be jamming the phone lines and internet. Little Diva will win in a landslide!
So, there you have it, my friends – the elite eight in order of last to first. Of course, in the end, the contestants have to deliver the goods, the judges need to judge and America gets to vote (always a scary proposition). Mark my words, if the voters get brain freeze and vote out one of my top three early, the judges won’t hesitate to use the “save.” and if my predictions do come true we will once again have a female American Idol – long overdue after several seasons of lackluster male winners. anyone remember Lee DeWyze or the guy (what’s his name?) who bested Adam Lambert?
Well, that’s all for now. Tune in for the remainder of the season and hope Steven “Bad Boy” Tyler keeps his clothes on and Jennifer “On the Floor” Lopez doesn’t have any wardrobe malfunctions. As for Randy “Preppy sweaters with love beads?” Jackson … who dresses that guy, anyways?
Phil Andelman By Gavin Edwards may 4, 2011 3:15 PM ET
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