Luke Judge

Sit On Top Kayak

Would you call a canoe or kayak for a boat?

canoeing Accessories canoe, kayak

Lowell Sun

BILLERICA — Three people were pulled from the Concord River Wednesday afternoon after their canoes capsized in the raging waters.

Fire officials said a single canoe carrying an unidentified man and woman tipped over near Pelham Street off Route 4 around 12:30 p.m.

A third person, who lives near the shores of the river, heard their screams and took his canoe out onto the river to try to rescue them. But his canoe also capsized.

It is very difficult to ignore the obvious character analysis of two people, who think it’s a good idea to pleasure canoe on a flood swollen river.  But I think we’re going to have to make an exception here and examine the actual canoe…easily the most ridiculous thing ever invented. 

If I didn’t see the movie Pocahontas a few years back, I would’ve assumed it was invented by the Polish Navy to compliment their fleet of Submarines.  They’re neither safe nor practical in the modern world, and idiot after idiot continues to climb in and paddle to doom.   And before you even have to ask, the answers is yes, I have explored every beach and cove the Saco River has to offer in…wait for it…a canoe.  But, let’s be honest, any Saco Canoe Vet will tell you that you’re signing a “decision making disclaimer” the moment you pack you car to head north, so that doesn’t count…nor does the two to four tip-over average during the trip.

~ by Tobes on March 18, 2010.

Posted in Lowell Happenings, Lowell Suburban Banter
Tags: Canoe Rescue, Canoes are Stupid, Concord River, Flooding

canoeing Accessories pelham street, submarines, third person, tobes