They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Some also claim that flattery will get you nowhere. If both adages are true, then today’s WRX-aping Nice Price or Crack Pipe Hyundai isn’t going anywhere.
Yesterday we discussed how the backpack toting Waldo seemed to have been everywhere, and how the nifty 1980 Ford Fiesta might have been his ride of choice. Determining the location of our bespectacled friend can sometimes prove a challenge, but as hard as that might be, a generous 90% of you had no problem finding that natty Ford a Nice Price.
A problem may be had, however, with today’s candidate.
When you’re a kid, you’re typically asked what you want to be when you grow up. Most boys profess their desire to be either a fireman, quarterback or Huggy Bear. Many little girls pine for adult-onset princessness, or being a wealthy divorcee, not caring which as long as their chosen path doesn’t require them to shave their legs above the knee. Sadly, few of us get to see our childhood yearnings fulfilled. One car that did manage to live the dream is the object of our derision attention today. This 2000-something Hyundai Accent apparently had delusions of grandeur as a child, and determined that one day it would become a mighty WRX.
The two things come to mind when you first see this car are WTF and this guy’s taken poseur to a whole ‘nother level. The seller has taken every step possible to achieving an Impreza WRX short of actually buying a damn Subaru. The strangest thing about this WRX homage is that it is based not on a standard Subie but on a entry-level Korean. That’s sort of like trying to make Domburimono out of instant kimchi.
The Accent is painted an electric blue, a popular color for the Subie WRX, but this is a Hyundai. He’s also bolted an EVO5 (?!) roof spoiler and STI trunk wing on the car, although it is still a Hyundai. Underneath there’s a custom welded front strut bar – which it is claimed no other Accent has – as well as Enkei rims and the expected K&N filter. Other mods include Subaru STI logo stickers and multiple skate and racing logos. The topper, both literally and figuratively is a roof mural of a dragon with celtic wings, whatever that is, which the seller claims looks fresh, and not gay. Um, yeah. The ad details many further modifications to this Accent, but like reading Helter Skelter, you’ll sleep better if you skip the gory parts. One thing left unchanged is the Hyundai motor which, depending on the year, is either a 92-hp 1.5 litre, or a 103-hp 1.6. That’s a tad shy of the 230+ ponies of a real WRX, but then this Hyundai doesn’t have to cart around the added weight of all wheel drive.
It must have taken time to transform this Accent into a abomination to man and god WRX homage-mobile, and the 80K on the clock indicate that perhaps it has seen some street time since going under the knife. The five speed didn’t make it that long, and was replaced just five thousand of those miles ago, and now sports an aluminum knob, just like you know who. That manual gearbox will help the Hyundai get decent mileage, good for when you need to take the long way home when the STI Club is in town. To entertain you during the ride, it comes with a claimed $600-worth of stereo, which the seller must think is a lot of money for such things.
The entire ad is a riot of free form grammar and creative spelling, leading with the claim that the current owner now has two cars and, Jethro-like, says that he doesn’t need to. It’s hard to tell if he’s counting the Accent twice due to its split personality, or has another innocent victim of his night terrors locked in the garage, but either way he wants either a dirt bike or $3,300 cash for this bastard child.
So, seriously, do you think his efforts to lipstick-ize this Hyundai pig are worth $3,300? Or, is that price just one more questionable choice on the part of the seller?
Nice Price or Crack Pipe: Hyundai Accent WRX-homage for $3,300, or a dirt bike.online survey
City of Brotherly Love Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears. H/T to grzydj for the freaky links!
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subaru
grandeur, nice price, roof spoiler, waldo
Blue Demon