Luke Judge

Julie Roberts wants people to know good manners are about more than knowing which fork to use or what four roles a napkin serves.

“Etiquette is going to set you apart,” she says, “It will launch you forward.”

Roberts, a recent American School of Protocol graduate, is establishing Etiquette Edge. It is a training business in Belmont with specialized classes for first- through 12th-grade students. She also offers customized individual or group sessions for all ages with coaching tailored to specific needs such as performance or formal events.

When she was 10, the Roberts’ mother sent her to a Kings Mountain “finishing school” where she took lessons on topics that included not only how to walk and stand, but also how to introduce herself, how to shake hands and make eye contact.

It made a difference, says Roberts, a Gastonia native and UNC-Chapel Hill graduate who went on to represent South Carolina as Miss United States in 2003, cheer for the Carolina Panthers, dance professionally for Gaylord Entertainment in Nashville, Tenn., and serve as a creative development manager.

The early life lessons taught Roberts to convey to people she was confident, interested and someone worth knowing.

“To look a person in the eye and shake a hand immediately brings down a barrier,” she said.

Roberts is constantly surprised to see people who haven’t mastered the art of the introduction. She was at a local seminar this week where standing up in a crowd, saying her name and explaining her business garnered the entrepreneur three new contacts and a potential client. Others in the same room missed out because they couldn’t bring themselves to stand up and be noticed.

Confidence is one of the traits Roberts believes comes from understanding the rules of etiquette. It doesn’t matter if a child grows up to be a banker or a truck driver, he or she will someday need self-assurance to succeed.

“Fear will hold you back,” she said.

Good manners in children and adults will also open doors, Roberts. She’s heard of etiquette making the difference in job offers and she knows it’s a way to become well-liked.

Part of her training focuses on helping students become more aware of their surroundings and how to engage and put others at ease.

“That makes you a shiny bright star and the very guest they want to invite back,” Roberts says.

She breaks down classes based on age group and, for older students, gender. Her training school covers dining, posture, telephone and tech manners, communication skills, attending a cultural event, sportsmanship and even dating, clothing, fitness, job interviews and other situations.

So far she’s hosted one class at her Belmont home, a pilot program for first- through fifth-graders. Roberts has more pilots with various age groups scheduled through January.

Six to 10-class sessions range from $35 to $45 per class, which includes the cost of formal and informal meals.

Roberts is also hoping to offer classes for private, charter and home schools.

The napkin plays four roles, by the way, by starting the meal when the host places it in his lap, catching crumbs and dabbing mouths during dinner and ending the meal when the host places it to the left of the plate.

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When it comes to work, you need to think about how you present yourself on the phone and in person. Most of the time you are going to have to make a lot of phone calls regardless. It is the phone call that will make a good impression. If you are too short with them they could think that you aren’t a good person to deal with, but if you hold on to them too long, you may end up looking like an idiot. You need to find your medium.

Phone calls are just a part of doing business, but you will want to consider that this is an important part of every business. You will need to learn good techniques for you to have effective conversations.

You first need to make a good first impression. This means that you will answer the phone on the second ring and you need to speak your first words with courtesy and grace. You should always say things like “How may I help You, My name is…” Always watch your tone too. Don’t sound like you are dying either. You will want to allow them to think that your day is going perfect even through it’s far from perfect. You will want to take an interest in them too, even if you can’t help them. Make sure that you ask for their name and how you can direct their call so that they can be the help that they need. Make sure that you are speaking clearly, slowly, and with a lower voice. Don’t scream into the phone.

When it comes to putting callers on hold you need to get their permission. This means that you should tell them that you need to get something important in order to help them or transfer them. You will then want to tell them what you are going to do and that it should only be a few moments. People hate waiting, so never leave someone on hold for long periods of time (five or more minutes).

If you are answering the phone knowing that someone has been on hold while being transferred you will want to thank them for waiting and then asking them how you can help them. Don’t forget that you will have to introduce yourself as soon as you answer the phone. Keep in mind that they may be hostile, depending on how long they have been on hold, you will want to make sure that you do everything you can to assure them that it was an accident and it won’t happen again.

As for transferring a call, you will need to tell them that you are transferring them and to hold on. You will also want to tell the person their number incase they get disconnected. You will also want to do this while keeping in mind that people really don’t like being pushed to person to person. You need to do this with much poise and respect. It is important for customer service factors that you always show courtesy to the customers.

There are a lot of things that you will want to do when it comes to the phone, however, make sure that you think about the first impression that you are giving. You may need to adjust your voice, your volume, or the words that you use when on the phone. Keep in mind that you can’t see them and they won’t be able to get the non-verbal messages that most people will pick up when talking in person. This means that you will want to say what you mean and mean what you say.

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