Gender Programming, by Linda
In weeks past we have talked about “Sugar and Spice and everything Nice.” We have discussed “Snakes and Snails.” So my question to you is—-Do you believe in gender programming or are children born with inherent qualities that tends to direct them towards the rolls their gender “normally” is associated with?
I do believe that we can program our children to like certain things. The father that dresses his newborn in a 49er jersey and places a fuzzy stuffed football in his crib is definitely programing his child to like and be interested in what the father likes. Is that bad? I suppose it depends on what we are programming them to like.
I will admit that I tried, tried, tried to program my children to be readers because I would just shrivel up and die if I didn’t constantly have a book within arms reach. No matter how many stories I read to some of them, no matter how many books I bought special for them, no matter how many quiet reading times curled up on soft, comfy pillows and how many story discussions I had with my children, some still don’t care to read. I secretly have wondered if they were switched at birth, except my kids are pretty much carbon copies of each other.
All I can say is that after having four boys, our house was a “boy” house. We had boy toys, played rough and wild boy games, did the whole bugs and rock thing, wore dirt like a second layer of skin and had every type of ball that was ever invented. Child number five surprised us by being a GIRL. I wasn’t even sure what to do with a girl. How would she fit in, I wondered?
She played with boy toys, loved wrestling with her brothers, loved chasing balls around the house. She was cute, fun and living in a house devoid of dolls until her very first Christmas where at the age of nine months she received a soft doll for Christmas. Her first doll, mind you. What did she do? As she pulled the wrapping paper off her eyes lit up in pleasure. She hugged it to her tiny little chest and smiled a huge smile. I had never seen her do that with a toy dump truck, a basketball or a rock. So, just try to tell me she was programed to be soft and gentle with that doll. Just try and tell me that it wasn’t an inherent action. She loved that little doll so much that she literally hugged it to death, to the point that it couldn’t be washed or mended any more. I never had to fix a dump truck for her or any other toy around the house. Just her baby doll.
